The Top Ten

Most Ridiculous Reactions to My Height

1. Patting me on the head (You don’t ever touch a black woman’s hair – EVER. There are men married to black women who have never touched their wives hair.)

2. Stopping, staring and then saying out loud “There’s a midget!.” Then smiling and saying “Hello”- (At that point I know you have been talking about me – I’m not deaf and you aren’t whispering.)

3. Starting a fake conversation by calling me someone else’s name, just so you can hear me speak.  (Sometimes I go along with it and ask some random question like “Wasn’t that a fantastic reunion last week?”)

4. Getting angry if I don’t want to stop and talk (I would suggest yoga, it calms the mind and you seem to have an anger management problem.)

5. Asking me how old I am? (Really, I shouldn’t even have to comment on this one.)

6. Asking me how tall I am (Anyone who has passed the second grade should be able to guess.)

7. Asking me if I can get you free tickets to the circus (Am I wearing a clown costume?)

8. Asking me if I am capable of having children. (No, apparently they ‘ve left that up to stupid people.)

9. Asking me how I have sex, “Is it regular?”  (If you have to ask  “Don Juan” then you don’t know what you are doing and I am not interested.)

10. Asking me to take a picture with you. (Unless I am commanding a 7 figure salary, I don’t do that.)

Bonus

11. Wow, you are really short! (WHAT?!!! I’d always wondered why I couldn’t reach the top shelves.)